The morgue just called. Now that's when it really feels real. I wish I could have seen her body. Sounds morbid, but my work here at the farm with the animals - the importance of the ritual of preparing the body for burial, digging the grave, and all, it is so important. I didn't get to do it with my dad, or my mom. That's ok, it's just one should not be afraid to see the body, it is helpful - being far away one can only imagine it, seeing the body one grasps that the body was the vessel, not the spirit and soul.