All the dreams seem to involve her moving, or an apartment. This metaphor is easy to grasp. But it seems every night there is a moving dream. Maybe she is unsettled. Maybe it is just me being unsettled with her nowhereness.

Last night, my father was alive and he had moved all his tools into my guest bathroom here at the farm. They were neatly arranged on the walls, all over the bathroom. In the dream I was thinking, "Oh, why did he do this, it's my bathroom...."

There were some b/w photos of my mother he had there too, and one I can see very clearly as I write this - she was about fifty, she was looking up at the sky smiling. I thought in the dream, "Oh, how sad, he misses her."

I awoke and wondered if my father is nowhere too. He appeared to be agnostic, I don't know. I don't know what my mother felt either. We never discussed it. Maybe when you die you go to a place that is in allignment with your beliefs. So if you are agnostic, you float around looking for the right realm. I don't think you always end up with your human mate.

But nobody knows, so we are left with metaphors in dreams.

1 comment:

Barbara Younger said...

After my dad died, my mom and I looked for signs of him. I thought I found some in the first few months but then they faded. But the fading has been okay in its own sort of way.

I know it's a cliche to some extent, but I do believe it's better to love and feel the loss than not to feel.I have a friend who lost her mother last year and felt no grief. She'd been betrayed by her mother many times in a variety of ways.

Your dreams are sad but sweet. Thanks for sharing.