I haven't had nightly dreams of her in the past couple weeks. But last night I dreampt Martyn and I left the West Coast to move to Minnesota, I guess to be near my elderly parents. In the dream I kept thinking that we might have made a mistake by leaving the West, but my mother seemed happy, and I knew she was not going to be alive forever.

We went out, my father was there too. In all the dreams he is in he sits slightly apart from us, and doesn't speak. We were outside and wanted to go see the service - Easter, I think - of a church I'd been to years earlier. It looked more like Norway to me. We get to the church and there were no stairs to get up the building and you had to climb it straight up.

"My mother will never be able to do this, " I thought. But then I look up and she and my father are sitting on a terrace way up by the doors, and they wave for me to come up the side steps, which I do.

"This isn't the same church I remember, it's not the one I wanted to see, " I tell them.

My mother laughs, she seems happy and says with humor,

"It's okay, I already died once."