The trigger points - driving up the long gravel road after I come back from a ride with Boone. These were the moments preceding a phone call with her. I still haven't gone out back of my studio and sat yet - the place I would sit in the shade with a cup of coffee and dial her number.

"Did you go riding?"

"Yea, just got back," I'd say.

Why are these simple conversations so hard to lose in one day's routine. Can the mother conversation ever be replaced? I think not. And that is the thing with the loss of a mother. It's losing a friend [if you are lucky to have a mother who is also a friend]. But also, how many people do you come across in life who truly, whole heartily, care about the minute moments of your life?

I washed the water buckets - a continual task here in the warm days. That is something I'd share with her, and she'd listen, like she cared - because I think she did care. It might not be a subject we'd discuss over and over, but if I told her,

"Spent almost a half hour cleaning water buckets today!"

she'd say, "Really? Well, I guess the nice warm weather brings dirty water buckets."